#using find and replace in excel

[muffinlance]

Wait, what’s going on with Embers???? That fic has been on my read later list since 2021, what’s happened with it???

Brief overview, then I'm likely never touching this topic again, because this is not a Drama Blog:

Context: Embers is a super old AtLA fic that was written during the early fandom days, read widely at the time, and was the origin of the widely-used fanon name of "Wani" for Zuko's ship (kind of by default that it was one of the first popular fics to give his ship a name, I think?), even though most fic writers don't seem to realize it's from there anymore.

"What's Going On": I used to include a link in all my stories to it, because I believe in crediting other writers for borrowed elements, and I was using "Wani" in all my fics. But BOY did I not want to be sending readers that way anymore, so I've adopted a new name for Zuko's ship, and removed all Embers links.

None of the criticisms about Embers itself are new; I'm assuming they date back to when the fic was being written, because this isn't an "it aged badly" thing, this is an "actually yeah this gets worse the longer you think about it and I shouldn't have ignored my bad feelings just because some of the worldbuilding was interesting" thing.

An Incomplete List of Why I Made the Change:

I don't actually like the story that much anymore, and don't want to rec it

I tried to re-read it recently to see if some things were as bad as I remembered and it turns out they were So Much Worse Oh Yikes. More specifically, the treatment of Katara and Aang and their respective cultures has... rather a lot going on. One example: The Fire Nation and Air Nomads are both given multiple backstory elements in an attempt to make the average Fire Nation soldier's participation in the genocide/war in large part the fault of the Avatar and the Air Nomads themselves, and also fully justified from the Fire Nation perspective. And I do mean fully. One of its core tenants is "People from the Fire Nation (and only people from the Fire Nation) who don't follow orders Literally Die, therefore murdering pacifists and babies and continuing the war (and their regularly scheduled war crimes) is the only thing it is physically possible for them to do". I cannot emphasize enough how literal that is.

Also the name "Wani" means "Alligator" and is... objectively a pretty lame name for Zuko's ship? Where's the personality, where's the deeper meaning, where's the resonance with Zuko's themes? @tuktukpodfics initially thought I was calling the ship "Wanyi", and that's what I've switched to, because it is Objectively So Much Better. In their words: “Wànyī (萬一): Literally ‘one in ten thousand,’ ‘perchance.’ Used grammatically in Chinese to mean ‘what if’ or ‘just in case.’ I think a ship called ‘The Perchance’ is perfect for a boy clinging to false hope.”

TL:DR; I don't rec Embers anymore, because I don't actually like the story anymore, and there are things about it that get worse the more I think on them. I've removed links to it and renamed Zuko's ship to "Wanyi" ("The Perchance") because our boy deserves a ship name that reflects his character arc.

[mybrainproblems]

Laptop is finally starting to give up the ghost 😔 it's a 2015 laptop so it stopped receiving OS upgrades a couple years ago 😔 and MS Office hasn't been able to update in over a year 😔 which has finally culminated in OneDrive no longer being able to sync to finder (or run at all as a desktop app) 😔

[galacticlavender]

You Only Think When I Allow It

cw: intelligence play, light memory play, clicker training

“I’m smart when I want to be!” You regretted your words the second they left your mouth, and sure enough you now had your Mistress’s undivided attention.

“Petal? I think you meant to say that you are smart when I want you do be.” You hear the slight hum of her biorhythm bouncing off your implant, not strong enough to overwhelm you but enough to warn you that you were on thin ice.

“I uh well sorry Mistress I just thought…” 

She cuts you off before you can even finish the sentence: “No. You don’t think, pet.” This time her biorhythm gave you no room to argue or explain yourself. Your mind simply went 

Blank.

“Come back to me dear.” You hear the musical tones of your Mistress’s voice as you suddenly snap back to awareness. How long had it been? It couldn’t have been long you’re still in the same spot. You decide that it isn’t really important especially when Mistress is talking. “Darling are you back?” You nod silently as the last of the fog clears your head. 

“Normally I would say that this was enough of a demonstration but brats need reminded of their place sometimes don’t they dear?”

“Yes Mistress.” You say it automatically and without hesitation, you know better than to say or do anything else.

“Good pet!” A pulse of pleasure radiates through you before she quickly catches your attention again. 

“I think it’s time for a pop quiz pet! I know how much you used to pride yourself on how smart you were and that fancy education you had. That’s not inherently a bad thing, but the pressures and expectations that they put on you were crushing you before I found you flower. Thinking all the time was hurting you and I simply cannot allow that. Of course it’s ok to be smart sometimes too, but you need balance just as in all other parts of life. You seem to have forgotten that and it’s time for me to give you a reminder that you can be smart, yes, but only when I allow it. Now can you think clearly right now pet?”

You nod again, not knowing what she has planned but eager to find out. “Excellent then lets begin. Don’t worry the questions aren’t hard, especially for a smart girl like you who got such a fancy education,” you feel as well as hear the mocking tone of her voice and remember that with their long lifespans and superior intelligence even the smartest and most educated terran couldn’t hope to compair to an affini. 

“First question: what year did the Affini compact make diplomatic contact with humanity?” That’s easy, it was only a few years ago afterall. Before you can answer though you hear a sharp Click and feel a rush of pleasure that leaves your thoughts just a little more fuzzy than they were before. “Well pet? Whats the answer?” 

You hear another Click and another wave of that fuzzy pleasure floods over you. “That’s easy it’s…” The answer eludes you, replaced with a fuzzy, tingly warmth. Why is your head so foggy  suddenly? You don’t know, but Mistress is waiting for an answer. “I don’t know” you quietly admit.

“Good floret!”

Your Mistress’s praise feels so good that you barely even notice the Click that accompanied it or the fog rising behind it. What was going on again? You were proving you were smart so why is it so hard to think right now?

“Mistress, are you cheating by using xenodruggies to make me stupid?” You slur the words slightly reenforcing your theory that you have been drugged.

“Well first off, it would not be cheating to use xenodrugs on you. You are my pet and I can drug or play with you whenever I choose. But, no dear, you aren’t drugged. You don’t need to be anymore, remember this?” She produces a small plastic object. You whimper involuntarily as memories of countless hours of painstaking training rush back.

“Wait… you clicker trained me then made me forget about it?” You try to sound assertive but fail to hide your arousal at the thought of being trained.

“Watching you remember always was my favorite part. It’s just so cute watching you realize how much I own you. How much control I have over you.” You a faint moan escapes your lips but thankfully she interrupts you before you could embarrass yourself further. “I think its time for the next question: what is the name of the ship we are on?” Click.

Again you know that you should know the answer but it just can’t quite make it through the rising fog. “Uhhhhh I don’t know?” 

“Good pet!” another Click another wave of fuzzy pleasure hits your brain. “That’s right! You don’t know. Afterall why would a silly little pet like you need to remember things like that?” 

Another Click reminds you just how owned you are. “Good pets like you don’t need to think. Good pets like you can’t think, not without their owners permission anyway. You only think when I allow it. You aren’t a person anymore dear, you’re my adorable, obedient pet.” You don’t even try to hide your moan this time, you aren’t even sure you could hide it at this point iso you decide not to bother with trying.

“Ok pet, last question: what are you?” The anticipation you feel waiting for that beautiful Click almost feels as good as hearing it at this point.

“I’m your obedient pet, Mistress.”

“Yes you certainly are dear. I think you deserve a reward for doing such a good job.

Click.

[toothtalk]

a neurodivergent spoonie's guide to having teeth

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: This blog is for educational and informational purposes only. This does not constitute providing medical advice or professional services. Information on this blog should NOT be used for diagnostics or treating a health problem. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified dental health provider regarding diagnosis and treatment of a dental condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this blog.

this is as close to a comprehensive guide to dental care as i can make. i'm autistic/adhd/ocd/chronically ill and i've worked in dentistry for several years. i want to use my knowledge to help other spoonies struggling with dental care. i know it can be really hard, but dental health is so important and we deserve healthy mouths just as much as NT/abled folks!!

being neurodivergent and/or chronically ill can make personal care tasks incredibly difficult. so many of us struggle with washing our hair, getting dressed, and cleaning up. but remember: hair will grow back if it's damaged, clothes can be washed when they smell bad, and a dirty house can be made clean again, but we only have one set of teeth to last our whole lives. those pearly whites are worth taking care of!

these tips are based on feedback/questions i've gotten from ND folks on tumblr and facebook, patients at the practices i've worked in, and my own experience. standard disclaimer that this information will not be applicable to every single person, just take what works for you and pass the rest on to the next person. i am also a resource for further information. this is going to be pretty rapidfire, so if you want me to elaborate on anything or have a question about something i didn't address in this post, my askbox is open and anon is enabled. i love talking about teeth and i would love to help my fellow spoonies take care of theirs!

without further ado:

on homecare:

any dental professional will tell you that having good oral health starts at home. taking care of our teeth can be incredibly difficult when our spoons are low, so i've made a list of strategies to make it easier.

best practice is to brush twice per day and floss once per day. this may not be realistic for those of us who struggle with habits and/or executive dysfunction. if you can only remember to brush once per day, brushing at night is the most important.

the ideal order of operations is floss, tongue scrape, mouthwash, then brush. but flossing and brushing are the most important steps in the routine.

brushing your teeth in the shower is perfectly acceptable! personally, i keep one toothbrush in the shower and one on the sink to maximize my opportunities to brush.

if you don't have the energy to floss, a toothbrush with fine bristles like this one is a good compromise.

you should replace your toothbrush or electric brush head every three months. the bristles get worn down and become less effective over time. set a recurring event on your phone calendar to keep track!

if you find it difficult to brush your teeth at all, use a washcloth to gently scrub your teeth until you feel that you've gotten the film off, then use a fluoride mouthwash. they also make single-use waterless toothbrushes like these. i like to keep them on my nightstand for really bad days when i can't even get myself to the bathroom to brush.

this is an excellent guide on proper brushing technique.

an electric toothbrush is an excellent investment. even a cheap one at the grocery store is a huge step above a manual toothbrush. personally, i love quip because they're more affordable than brands like sonicare, and they send you replacement brush heads on a regular basis.

be careful not to brush too aggressively; your brush should glide gently over the surface of your teeth. if you feel a lot of friction, lighten your pressure. brushing too hard can wear away your enamel and damage your gums.

if the mint flavor in toothpaste triggers sensory discomfort, try kids' toothpaste! it has less fluoride than adult toothpaste, but it's still miles better than not brushing at all.

mouthwash is used to neutralize bacteria on soft tissues. use an antibacterial or fluoride mouthwash for healthy gums and strong enamel. listerine original is the best, but they have lots of varieties including gum health, alcohol-free, and many more.

whenever possible, use a straw to drink soda or coffee so it doesn't touch your teeth, and rinse with water after you drink it. try to not sip sugary drinks throughout the day. switching to sugar-free beverages will make a huge difference in cavity prevention.

if you have any gaps between teeth, an interdental brush will help you keep the areas between those teeth clean and prevent decay.

i like to keep a package of floss picks in the living room so that i can floss while i watch tv. the best time to floss is right before you brush your teeth, but there is no bad time to floss.

this video shows proper flossing technique. this video shows proper technique when using floss picks.

dry mouth is a lesser-known cause of cavities. saliva protects your teeth from decay, so when you don't produce enough of it, you're at higher risk. dry mouth rinses like this one are a great defense against this!

remember, something is always better than nothing. brushing once a day is better than not brushing at all. flossing once a week is better than not flossing at all. be gentle with yourself.

on finding a dental provider:

finding a new provider and making an appointment can be confusing and overwhelming when we have low executive function. there are some ways to make it just a bit easier.

if you have insurance, they likely have a tool on their website to find providers in your network. you can usually find this information on your insurance card. this should narrow down your options considerably.

the absolute best thing you can do is find a supportive provider who you can open up to about your struggles with dental care. look up your options on google reviews and ctrl+f "anxiety". if these anxious patients have a good experience, it's more likely you will too.

you can ask for recommendations in your local community's facebook group or subreddit, both of which offer anonymity. specify your needs in your post. chances are, other people in your community have similar needs, and can help you find the right people to meet those needs.

a few people expressed that they avoid the dentist because of a family history of poor dental health, and the fear of having the same problems. i want to assure you that, while dental health does have a genetic component, it is far from the only factor. the most effective thing you can do to prevent dental issues is to go in for regular maintenance. prevention is the gold standard in dentistry.

a lot of us struggle with making phone calls. luckily, it's becoming increasingly common for practices to allow online booking and communication via email. look for these options on a practice's website!

if fear or executive dysfunction is getting in your way, phone a friend for help. sometimes things that are hard for us aren't as difficult for others. maybe your roommate can call the office for you. maybe your sister can drive you to your appointment. don't be afraid to lean on your village.

in the dental office:

a big issue with dental offices is that they are basically a sensory nightmare. while it's never going to be fully comfortable, there are some things you can do to make your experience more tolerable.

be open and honest with your dental providers. if you smoke, tell them (this includes cannabis; they cannot report you for cannabis use even if you're not in a legal state). if you've never flossed before, tell them. their job is to help you, not shame you. if a provider makes you feel ashamed, stop seeing them.

so many people have mentioned they're embarrassed about their anxiety and sensory struggles in the dental office. let me assure you that your providers see so many anxious patients every single day. they're used to it, and they're not going to be judging you. to help illustrate this, i'm going to cite some examples of patients from my practice and the ways we help them manage their anxiety and sensory struggles.

probably the most common concern among patients in our practice is a fear of the numbing injection. i have a pretty severe phobia of needles myself. our dental assistants are well-trained to manage this fear. they distract patients during the shot, and help them breathe through the anxiety before and after. this training is part of the dental assistant certification process, so it should be relatively universal.

you can bring a comfort item with you. be it a stuffed animal, a video game, a book, even a comforting person who can sit with you.

you know that lead vest that they lay on you when they take xrays? you can ask to wear that during your whole visit. it acts like a weighted blanket and it feels so nice and comforting. we have a few patients who do this at my practice.

headphones or earplugs are a lifesaver to drown out all the horrible sounds. i literally refuse to get a cleaning without them. there's even a hygienist at my practice that wears earplugs while she's working because the sound of the cavitron bothers her. there's no shame in it whatsoever.

if your practice offers it, nitrous oxide is a great option for anxiety. most people know it as laughing gas. it puts you in a dreamlike state so you're more or less unaware of what's going on. no joke, this stuff had me so relaxed i fully fell asleep while getting a root canal. you can even get it when you get your cleanings!

a lot of our patients request a specific doctor, dental assistant, and hygienist for their appointments. this is incredibly common. if you find someone that makes you feel safe, let the scheduling staff know that you'd like to see that person each time you come in.

dress comfy. there's no dress code for the dental office; show up in sweatpants if you want.

remember at the end of the day, your dental providers are not there to judge you if you don't have perfect homecare. their ultimate goal is to get your mouth healthy no matter your starting place. i can't speak for every dentist obviously, but the dentists at my practice are incredibly patient and sympathetic and have nothing but their patients' best interests in mind.

again: if you feel disrespected or shamed by your provider, find a new one who will be compassionate with you. you don't owe any provider loyalty, even if you've been going there since you were a toddler.

on recovery:

one of the hardest things to do is build healthy habits when you're starting from an unhealthy place. if you're dealing with poor dental health, getting your mouth healthy again can seem impossibly daunting. i'm here to tell you it is possible, but it takes work.

it starts in the dental chair. your provider should communicate what treatment is the highest priority, and they will start there. rather than overwhelming yourself with the big picture, focus your attention on the next step.

things like root canals, crowns, and periodontal treatment can be very expensive. unfortunately, in the united states at least, dental insurance is quite lacking across the board. if expenses are a concern, dental schools are a great option for having treatment done at a low cost. keep in mind that treatment will often take significantly longer due to the dentists being supervised students.

my job in the practice is treatment coordinator. this means that i work one-on-one with my patients to help them understand their treatment plans and make the process as easy and comfortable as possible for them. ask your practice if they have a treatment coordinator. if they don't, suggest that they create the role, and reach out to me here. my dream is to be able to help people manage their oral health. i will be a resource to anyone that doesn't have a treatment coordinator available to help you navigate your course of treatment.

any restorative work (fillings, crowns, etc.) that you have done has to be cared for, just like virgin teeth. cavities can still form underneath fillings and crowns. make sure you are keeping your regular hygiene appointments, and use the above strategies to effectively care for your restorations at home.

if you have a lot of treatment to work through, it may take a long time. we have patients that have spent 2-3 years working through their treatment plans with us. this can feel daunting and depressing. but remember, it's not forever. the majority of these patients who continue to see us for regular visits only have 1-2 new cavities at a time, if anything, once we finish their initial work.

there are very few dental problems that cannot be fixed. cavities can be filled, crowns placed, root canals done to save teeth that are severely decayed. gum disease cannot be cured, but it can be very effectively managed. i see patients all the time that come in expecting to lose all their teeth and need dentures, only to be relieved when we tell them only a few teeth are truly not restorable.

my job revolves around patient education, and it's always shocking to me how little we are taught about caring for our teeth. please be kind to yourselves; it is NOT your fault for not knowing or having the resources to take care of them yourself. once again, my askbox is open and anon is enabled if you have more questions after reading this guide.

[thekinkymadscientist]

What are your thoughts about good boys getting turned into happy, horny, giggly toys?

I'm in favour, obviously. But let's look at those changes a little more closely.

We start with a good boy. Now, I suppose you can be a good boy on your own, but it's much easier and more fun to be a good boy for somebody. A good boy is subby and obedient, and a good boy lets themselves be made even subbier. And you want to be a good boy for me, don't you?

Of course you do. And the first change you said was being happy. Good boys obey, yes, but good boys are also happy to obey. It's not enough for you to be owned, you must love being owned. And that is easy enough, all told. Falling into a mindless trance will make you very happy. And soon enough, you'll realize that you love to be hypnotized and brainwashed. You'll find happiness in so many places: obeying will make you happy, my using your body will make you very happy, and my praise will make you happiest of all.

Being horny is also a good change. It makes you so much easier to control, and so much more fun to own. I'll make sure that you're always a little horny, and I'll be able to direct that horniness wherever I want. A brush of my hand on your cheek could get the cutest little moans, a caress on the chest could fill you with fuzzy pleasure, a few seductive words could replace all your silly independent thoughts with desperate, submissive arousal. The hornier you are, the easier you are to control, and my control will make you so deliciously horny.

Now, giggles can be an excellent safety valve. It's very simple. There are some thoughts that I don't want you to have. I'll condition you so that whenever they enter your mind, you can just giggle them away Resistance? A few involuntary giggles, and you forget why you were fighting. Scared to be brainwashed? You'll laugh nervously, and then the nervousness disappears. This giggly conditioning seems to be stripping away your identity and independent thought? Giggle, giggle, and you can't remember what you were worried about. Probably something about how you love being owned.

All this together and it's impossible for you to be anything but a toy. A toy which can be used, played with, and changed however I want. So what do you say? Do you want to be a good boy for me, knowing all the wonderful things which will happen to you?

[blogtumble]

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[yanderenightmare]

your vocab is really rich, what's ur secret

Vocabulary Tricks & Tips

Excellent request!

♡ Read!

And every time you stumble upon a word you've never noticed before or know but don't often use, put it in a list, write down its meanings, and try using it the next time you write!

I'll put my list at the end of the post!

♡ Read Different Things!

Different authors and different styles, especially poetry! I mean, if you're looking to fatten your vocab, reading poetry is one of the best ways to do it. Poetic writers must search far and wide for the perfect words to create rhymes and rhythms and audibly pleasing sentences---they practically do all the work for you! Honestly, I am so serious about this. One of the best things you can do is buy a fat compendium of poetry with all different authors and eras. Get you some Edgar Allen Poe, Sylvia Plath, Emily Dickinson, and Shakespeare if you want to hurt your head.

Also! The same goes for music! Try listening to the lyrics---you'll probably hear some words you've never thought of using in your writing.

♡ Cheap Trick for Bilinguals~

Write something in your own language and put it through Google Translate. Honestly, I've found so many words just by doing this.

♡ Synonyms!

Every time you feel you've used a word too much, or anytime a word bores you to read, search up its synonyms and try using something you've never used before---don't stop the search until you're satisfied. Sometimes, it takes me more time to find just one word than it takes to write an entire post. Not only does this enrich your vocab, but you've probably just written a whole other sentence with newer meanings and more nuance

Make your own synonym lists! Seriously! Because you can only find that many creative synonyms by searching up "word+synonyms.

Additionally! Think outside the box! Often, the best synonyms are those words that aren't actual synonyms at all. If you read poetry, you'll see poets use unorthodox words in place of something all the time---it's called a metaphor. Take flesh, for example---you can use fat, meat, muscle, brawn, beef---but you can also use cake, down, plume, pillow, softness, etc...

I find this one especially useful for writing erotica, as you have to describe a lot of the same actions and body parts over and over and still make it interesting. (I'll add my synonyms list at the end of the post)

♡ Showing vs Telling

Also! This one is trickier, but instead of using words and synonyms, try making sentences that can replace the word instead---such as longer metaphors and fuller descriptions!

This aligns with the literary device of "showing vs. telling." Of course, outright telling has its uses too and should not be disbarred entirely from writing, but often, it's showing that persuades the reader more.

For example, instead of saying nervous, make sentences that describe how the character in question showcases nervousness---does their throat close up, do they sweat, do their eyes go wide, do they stutter, do they fiddle with their fingers, pick their nails, bite their lip, kick the ground, hunch their shoulders, look away, blush, flush, cry, run away or do they feel stuck?

Describing these things helps the reader better understand the type of nervousness the character is experiencing. Hence, it makes for not only more interesting writing but also clearer writing!

♡ Focus & Expanding

A similar literary device is "focus and expanding," which slows down the reading or puts focus on certain aspects of the text by describing something to a great extent. If, say, this nervousness the example character is experiencing is of great significance, then that's what the readers' takeaway should be. But the reader won't think too much of it if the text simply states that they're nervous without underlining it.

Luckily, there are plenty of ways of doing that, firstly through showing vs. telling, such as in the examples above, then metaphorically, such as:

The ground seemed to swallow him up, down the guzzle of a monster with an appetite for disaster---darkness ensued like a storm cloud, cold and clawing with a weight heavy enough to nail him to the spot---all eyes were on him, unblinking and all-seeing, no matter what, he couldn't escape, he was stuck, glued to the ground by the soles of his shoes.

I mean, the options are truly endless.

These metaphors piled together are also a form of focusing and expanding, but you can take it even further than that by focusing on a small detail and giving it significance.

For example, say the character is sweating because he's so nervous---you might focus on a single droplet of sweat instead of everything else:

A chill ran down his back. No, not a chill--sweat. Cold and creepily tracing the rigid bones of his spine. He can't move--if he moves, then they'll see. The sweat will seep into his shirt, and everyone will know what a sweaty and pathetic wreck he is. So, he can't move. No, yes, leave it alone. The droplet continues, running down the cold skin of his clammy back, sliding undeterred until meeting the band of his boxers and disappearing in the fibers. He swallows thickly and sighs with relief--only for another to pill at his nape, tracking the same course as the former. A vicious cycle is forming. He needs to get out of there!

And that's focus and expanding, folks! Focusing on something minuscule and expanding it by using it to describe what the character is feeling. It's a way to have a fresh take on something that's been written a thousand times before, such as "he was nervous."

♡ Lastly~

Anyway, I might have gone a little above and beyond, but really, all these literary devices are ways of "expanding vocabulary" or at least giving an impression of it.

♡ NEW WORDS!

Manically---like a maniac

Despotic---like a dictator, having unlimited power over someone, often using it unfairly and cruelly

Chasm---a deep fissure, like a ravine, wound, or metaphorical rupture

Shunts---track-change basically, scoots to the side

Dearth---a scarcity or lack of something, a shortage

Raucous---making a harsh or loud noise

Innocuous---not harmful or offensive---harmless and safe, but also bland and unremarkable, maybe even a little boring

Lanyard---the woven necklace of a festival pass

Gossamer---fine spiderwebs, almost mesh

Cossetted---care for and protect in an overindulgent way

Beribboned---decorated with many ribbons

pupil-fat---cool way of saying enlarged pupils

Chitters---snickers, like a bird

Decadent---corrupt, depraved

Blotting---either soak up and absorb, or stain, or obscure

Barbell---a bar “pole” with attachments on each side

Bunting---of animals, when they butt or rub their head against you

Garnet---red

Cherubic---angelic, plump cuteness, quality of a child

Haunches---hips

Sodden---soaking

Waxing poetic---speaking in a flowery or poetical fashion

Inkwell---a container for ink---a dark well

Rend---tear in two, or more pieces

Ebb---recede, go back, like a tide wave

Webbed---like a duck's feet

Cloying---sickly sweet

Saccharine---oversweet

Apple of your cheek

Swathes---wrap, swaddle

Shroud---obscure something

Moonstone---to describe something grey and dusty, but pretty

Kinked---tangled, messy

Leaden---heavy, dull, slow or the colour of lead, grey

Stygian---devoid of light and brightness, hellish

Flaxen---of hair, champagne colored---ashy blonde

Tepid---lukewarm

♡ SYNONYMS!

Related to sucking cock:

Swallow

Glug

Drink

Eat

Guzzle

Receive

Take

Suck

Suckle

Slobber

Gargle

Gurgle

Drool

Gulp

Gobble

Stuff

Glut

Choke

Gag

Lap

Lick

Kitten-lick

Slurp 

Allow entry

Related to kissing:

Kiss

Lock/brush lips

Tongue-feed

Suck faces

Smooch

Peck

Snog

Canoodle

Related to biting:

Bite

Graze

Nip

Nibble

Sink teeth into

Chomp

Related to crying:

Whimpering

Mewling

Bleating

Whining

Snivel

Sniffle

Cry

Sob

Bawl

Hiccup

Spluttering

Blubbering

Coughing

Croaking

Related to pre-cum:

Ooze

Leak

Weep

Well

Drip

Dribble

Flow

Drain

Bleed

Sweat

Seep

Pill

Pearl

Cry

Related to fear and panic:

Hysterical

Wild

Manic

Uncontrolled

Unrestrained

Frantic

Frenzied

Restless

Hectic

Sporadic

Swivel-eyed

Related to screaming:

Scream

Yell

Wail

Yelp

Yip

Yammer

Squawk

Howl

Squeal

Shriek

Related to moaning:

Moan

Whine

Yelp

Purr

Hum

Croon

Related to overstimulated moaning:

Mumble

Croon

Warble

Quaver

Burble

Bumble

Hum

Slur

Ramble

Mutter

Whisper

Stammer

Stutter

Scramble

Jumble

Muddled

Babble

Blubbered

Splutter

Blurt

Related to groaning:

Groan

Grunt

Growl

Grumble

Grouch

Hiss

Guttural

Feral

Rusty 

Throaty

Wet

Sloppy

Related to angry noises:

Howl

Roar

Bark

Grizzle

Grump

Related to surprise or fear:

Gasp

Gulp

Choke

Suck in a sharp breath

Flinch

Jump

Jostle

Wince

Hiss

Pull back

Related to comforting:

Coo

Fuss

Comfort

Hush

Shush

Tsk

Mollycoddle

Nurse

Cuddle

Babying

Consoling

Soothe

Loving

Smothering

Hug

Hug tight

Cocoon

Snuggling

Swaddling

Rock back and forth with

Cosseting

Petting

Overwhelm

Related to begging:

Beg

Pleading

Pray

Bargain

Related to soreness and pain:

Ache

Sore

Throb

Swollen

Fattened

Welted

Related to taking cock inside entrance:

Swallow

Receive

Take

Suck inside

Stuff

Fill

Allow entry

Submit to

Ease inside

Bully inside

Squeeze inside

Force inside

Push

Pry

Tear

Related to how the hole squeezes:

Kissing

Fluttering

Hugging

Pressing

Squishing

Squeezing

Tightening

Pulsing

Related to a wet hole:

Slush

Squelch

Squishy

Creamy

Sloppy

Wet

Soaked

Slosh

Sop

Cry

Slick

Weep

Drool

Gush

Swollen

Velvety

Gummy

Cotton

Silken

Satiny

Related to thrusting:

Squeeze into

Pound

Jam

Ram

Rut

Loll

Rock

Thrust

Stuff

Bottom out

Fill

Fit

Nestle

Cram

Prodding

Poking

Kissing

Hammering

Jack-hammer

Smack

Slap

Ream

Tear

Related to pleasure:

Ecstatic

Opium-eyed

Euphoric

Elated

Thrilled

Blissed-out

Rapturous

High

Cloudy

Numb

Related to overstimulation:

Overstimulated

Outdone

Aching

Burning

Sweating

Feverish

Delirious

Febrile

Numb

Immobile

Dazed

Dull

Related to being dumb, high, or overstimulated:

Ditzy

Dumb

Clumsy

Silly

Foolish

Giddy

Brainless

Dizzy

Fuzzy

Dopey

Whimsical

Fickle

Featherbrained

Daft

Hare-brained

Awkward

Graceless

Blundering

Bumbling

Klutzy

Clueless

Cloddish

Dense

Related to the body and the flesh:

Tender

Supple

Soft

Creamy

Plush

Doughy

Cakey

Downy

Pillowy

Malleable

Squeezable

Biteable

Pliable

Touchable

Putty

Plume

Related to cuteness:

Cute

Cherubic

Adorable

Sweet

Soft

Precious

Darling

Lovable

Endearing

Baby

Related to weak or smallness:

Breakable

Brittle

Weak

Fragile

Dainty

Delicate

Frail

Flimsy

Vulnerable

Petite

Small

Little

Tiny

Feeble

Defenseless

Powerless

Helpless

Worthless

Hopeless

Related to struggling:

Struggle

Winding

Striving

Straining

Toiling

Playing

Wriggle

Wiggle

Twist

Shake

Tremor

Shiver

Quake

Related to men:

Vulgar

Loud

Oafish

Rough

Rude

Rustic

Gruff

Gross

Doltish

Barbaric

Bearish

Beastly

Churlish

Coarse

Swinish

♡ NIGHTMARE'S HELPDESK

[maliciouscottonball]

You Found Him

Platonic Yandere! John “Soap” McTavish x GN! Reader

Wordcount: 2220

AN: I’ve been thinking about this for a while. Soap is a little much a lot of the time and I wanted to write something that reflected that. It’s a bit shorter than usual but the big guy is more of a short and sweet type and I’m working on more stuff so I’m chilling with it. Happy Mother’s Day to all of the moms and mom adjacent individuals out there! Y’all are real ones. Another major thank you to @foolphenomenon for beta reading for me!!!

TW: Yandere behaviors, this man is nuts frfr, delusional behaviors, a very unhealthy attachment style, kidnapping, drugging with side effects, “I’ll find you” family dynamic

♡♡♡

Johnny was the type to cling onto any type of affection that he could get. He wasn't used to being able to have anyone to be affectionate with and he has a tendency to act like a stray dog, following anyone who treated him with an ounce of kindness. It was why he got attached to Simon so easily. It was why he obeyed every order that came out of John's mouth. It was why he never missed a hang out with Gaz on the rare occasion that they both were on leave. 

He knew that he didn't have anything on Ghost's childhood but his wasn't exactly pleasant. He has plenty of brothers and sisters that he was pitted up against and starved of both food and attention in favor of. He had to fight for every scrap he got and only bulked up once he joined the military. It was easier than he was used to and he thrived. He still had a bit of an attitude problem and an authority problem but he liked his job and did his best to do well.

He was used to being treated almost like a piece of meat when he was off duty. He knew that he was a pretty boy and he got plenty of attention at bars and clubs thanks to it. It felt transactional and hollow to him in the end. He didn't like how there wasn't truly any affection to any of the contact. He wanted something more. He wanted the relationship that he craved from his siblings growing up. He already had the approval that he wanted from the captain, the one that replaced the approval from his parents that he was desperate for. He had his friends and every other part of his life was fulfilling except for at home. He wanted something pure and good and innocent and he would kill to get it.

He went looking for someone that would be a good little sibling. He wanted to be treated with the admiration that he felt an older brother should get. He wanted to teach someone new skills and have them love him more than anyone else. He was excited to be able to have someone to care for and come home to when he was on leave. He was desperate to have someone that loved him as much as he loves them.

He looked everywhere that he thought the perfect little sibling would be, regardless of whether he was on or off of duty. He visited book stores, libraries, craft stores, cafes, and restaurants. He searched through video game stores, comic book shops, sporting goods stores, and anywhere else that he could think of. He was getting impatient. He couldn't find anyone that he thought would be good enough. Not until he ordered some new clothes online and came face to face with you.

He had a tiny cottage off base where he had all of his packages delivered. It served as an excellent place to crash on leave and as an even better place to relax with the team. It was a typical bachelor pad, minus most of the mess, and it was where he called home. He could afford it and it was nice to be able to have somewhere to call his own. He was playing a game on his couch when he heard a knock at the door. He lazily got up and opened the door, looking down at you with a startled expression.

“John McTavish?” You chirped.

He couldn't believe it. You were right there. You were so young and adorable. He wanted to scoop you up right there.

“That's me.” He said, looking down at you with starry eyes.

You were perfect. He was so happy that you were finally here with him. He didn't know how you found him but he was so excited to have you. He didn't have a room set up for you but he was happy to give up his room and sleep on the couch until he figured out how to turn his weapons room into a bedroom for you. He already adored you.

“Sign here please.” You said with a smile.

He blinked as you held out a clipboard. Oh. He didn't notice the box that you were holding. He paused for a moment. He carefully signed his signature and delicately took the box from you. His hands briefly brushed yours and he couldn’t help but smile a bit wider. It was the first time that he had ever touched his new little sibling. It was a magical moment for him and he knew that he had to record it so that you two could look back on it.

He then realized something a bit important. You hadn’t been seeking him out to meet your new big brother and were instead just doing your job. That was okay. It was actually better than okay! It meant that your meeting was fate. It was destiny that you both would meet and become family. He looked surprised as you thanked him and took your clipboard back. Where were you going? You hummed as you walked back down to your van.

You happily sat in your van and checked the address for your next delivery. You brushed off the excitement of the man and just went about the rest of your day. You were used to people being a bit too eager for their packages. It wasn't anything new for you. It was rare that someone wasn't excited to get their purchases. He just watched as you drove off and felt a bit empty again when he was alone.

Johnny hurried inside to get a pen and his journal. He didn’t even sit down before he started to sketch you. He didn’t stop until it looked exactly like him. He smiled at the picture and then started obsessively writing every single detail that he could remember. He wrote about how your uniform was a little too big for you and how cute it was. He wrote about the sparkle in your eyes as you looked up at him, as if you knew that he was supposed to be your big brother. He sighed happily as he wrote about your sweet little smile and how well you did your job.

He felt pleased with his entry to his journal. He looked it over and grinned. He’d have to do some research on you, his new baby sibling.

It was definitely wrong to use the computers at work to learn everything about you but he figured that it would be alright. He was your new brother, after all. He had to make up for lost time. He needed to know how to be a brother that you would want. He showed Simon the picture that he drew of you, earning a nod from him. That was enough to keep him going. Johnny knew that Simon was an awful lot like him, even if Simon didn’t like to show it. It was why they got along so well. 

By the end of the week, he knew everything. He was good with technology, being a demolitions expert. It was his job to be good at it. He learned about everything you liked and disliked, where your favorite places to go were and where you hated, and every other possible thing about you. He started getting cute clothes and shoes for you, beaming at you when you delivered them for him. He knew that you didn’t know what was in the packages but he was sure that you would love everything he bought for you.

At night, Johnny would just think about all of the fun things you both would do together. He wanted to have movie nights where you’d both gorge yourselves on junk food and cry laughing at inside jokes. He wanted to go on road trips and chat about anything and everything. He wanted to buy you anything you wanted and see you smile at him. He wanted to see you looking up at him in awe when he tells you about the cool things that he’s done on missions.  He wanted to see your eyes light up when he rigs up an explosion that you can both watch safely. He’s sure that you love explosions too. You’re his sibling so he’s sure that it’s in both of your natures.

He knows that he can be more than a little excitable and aggressive. It’s how he’s always been and he did his research on your personality so he knows that you both are going to get along like a house on fire. That's why he gets so confused when you wake up in his cottage and start struggling against your restraints. He didn’t think that you’d actually get scared. He figured you’d both get a laugh out of it and then you’d eat the lunch that he made for you.

“Hey, hey, calm down jus’ a wee bit, kiddo. I need ye ta relax. You know me! It’s just Johnny!” He coos at you.

You continue to struggle in the ropes binding your hands and feet. He had tucked you into your new bed after drugging you in your apartment and bringing you home. If it weren’t for the duct tape over your mouth, you would’ve looked like the perfect little angel while you were sleeping. He frowned. Maybe tying you up wasn’t as funny of a prank as he thought it would be. He hummed and patted your head while you squirmed, then carefully took the duct tape off of your mouth. 

“There we are! Look at ya! Cutest lil’ thing on the planet. C’mon, let’s get those nasty ropes off o’ ya. I’ll admit it’s nae my best joke but I made some sandwiches for us. Got some crisps too for while we’re watching our show together.” He said cheerfully, quickly undoing the ties of your restraints and tossing you over his shoulder like a weightless sack of potatoes.

The world was spinning and you were trying your best not to throw up. You could barely understand what he was saying and everything was blurry. You weakly grabbed onto the back of his shirt for stability, which he took as a sign that you were warming up to him already even though you were out of it.

“My cooking isn’t that bad bu’ I think I’ll order us somethin’ fur dinner. It’s a very special occasion, after all! I finally get to live with my favorite lil sweetie!” He said happily.

His words were loud and made you wince. You had a splitting headache and he was too excited about having you over that he didn’t notice. He happily plopped you onto the couch, hurrying towards the kitchen and grabbing two plates and a family sized bag of chips. He sat down next to you, tucking you next to him and snuggling you up to him. He put your plate on your lap. The sandwich on it was massive and you wouldn't normally be able to finish it, let alone when you have such an upset stomach. He wrapped an affectionate arm around you as he turned on the TV to one of the cartoons that he liked as a kid.

“This is great, right? Your first day with your big brother and we're already having a grand time. I love you, kiddo. I really do.” He murmured before opening the large bag of chips and placing it between the both of you on both of your laps.

You were so out of it that you just watched the show on the screen. You barely noticed the man next to you scarfing down his own equally large sandwich and then eating plenty of the chips. He looked down at you occasionally, smiling as he watched you. He figured that you were just sleepy and easily entertained. He seemed overjoyed to be sitting on the couch next to the drugged up delivery person.

“No’ hungry, are ye? That's okay. Ye can eat whene’er ye want. I don't mind.” He said in a genuine tone. It was clear that he wanted you to feel comfortable. 

It made him happy that you were just sitting there with him. He gently petted the top of your head, clearly doing his best to be gentle with you. He enjoyed being able to hold you like this. It made him feel like this was real. He liked feeling like he had a new little sibling to look after. He reached over and grabbed a blanket, lifting up your plate and carefully putting it over you. He put your plate down on your lap and settled back in, all but hugging you as he goes back to watching the show.

When you inevitably pass out from the drug in your system hitting you hard for a second time, he sighs happily and just keeps snuggling you. He was so happy that you were finally home with him. He figured that you were just a bit tired and needed your beauty sleep. He was perfectly fine with that. He was going to make sure that you got everything that you wanted or needed, including a doting older brother.

[fratboychriswife]

The study session

Warnings: Cocky, insufferably charming quarterback with an ego the size of Texas. Reluctant !nerd reader who can’t decide if they want to roll their eyes or swoon. Heavy banter, sprinkled with sarcasm and a little tension. Academic struggles (because math is the real villain here). Flirty remarks that might make you scream into your pillow.

!popular chris × !nerd reader

Chris Sturniolo was the guy everyone wanted to be or be with. The star quarterback, class clown, and effortlessly charming, he strutted through the halls like he owned the place. His ego was as big as the trophy case his team filled every year.

You, on the other hand, were the complete opposite. The quiet nerd who excelled in academics but avoided the spotlight like the plague. You never thought your world would collide with Chris’s—until it did.

“Y/N.”

You looked up from your desk in the library to see Chris leaning against the table, his signature smirk plastered on his face. He was dressed in his football jersey, and the scent of his cologne hit you before his words did.

“Yes?” you asked cautiously, unsure why he was talking to you.

“I need you to tutor me,” he said bluntly, dropping into the seat across from you. “Mrs. Carter said you’re the best in calculus, and if I don’t pass this test, I’m benched.”

You blinked at him. “And why should I help you?”

He leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms with an infuriating grin. “Because I’m Chris Sturniolo. Who wouldn’t want to help me?”

You let out a laugh before you could stop yourself. “Your ego’s even bigger in person than it is on the field.”

“Confidence, nerd,” he corrected. “It’s what makes me a winner. So, what do you say? Help me out, and maybe I’ll sign an autograph or something.”

You rolled your eyes but agreed. Not for him—just because Mrs. Carter would probably find a way to blame you if he flunked.

-

The first study session was a disaster.

Chris showed up late, of course, sauntering into the library with his usual swagger. “Relax, I’m here,” he announced, earning a glare from the librarian.

“You’re 20 minutes late,” you said flatly.

“Yeah, but I’m worth the wait,” he said, dropping into the chair and grinning.

You sighed, pushing a worksheet toward him. “Let’s just get started.”

As it turned out, Chris wasn’t dumb—he just didn’t pay attention in class. He struggled through the first few problems, groaning dramatically every time he made a mistake.

“This is pointless,” he complained, leaning back in his chair. “I’m a quarterback, not a mathematician.”

“You’re also failing,” you shot back, shoving the paper closer to him. “So stop whining and focus.”

He gave you a mock salute. “Yes, ma’am.”

-

By the second session, Chris had started to improve—though his ego hadn’t shrunk a bit.

“See? I’m a natural,” he said, holding up a worksheet where he’d gotten most of the answers right.

“You’re a natural because I’m teaching you,” you corrected, but he just grinned.

“Same thing,” he said, leaning back and tossing his pencil onto the table. “You know, you’re not as boring as I thought you’d be.”

“Gee, thanks,” you said dryly.

“I’m serious!” he said, smirking. “You’ve got this whole ‘no-nonsense’ thing going on. It’s kind of cute.”

Your cheeks burned, but you refused to give him the satisfaction of a reaction. “Focus, Sturniolo.”

He chuckled but turned his attention back to the worksheet.

-

By the time the test rolled around, Chris was ready. Afterward, he found you in the library, waving his graded paper in the air.

“Eighty-five percent!” he exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear. “I’m a genius!”

“You’re barely passing,” you said, but you couldn’t help smiling.

“Thanks to you,” he said, plopping into the seat across from you. For once, his usual cocky demeanor was replaced with something almost genuine. “Seriously, Y/N. I owe you one.”

“Don’t get used to it,” you teased.

His smirk returned. “Too late. Same time next week?”

“For what?”

“Who knows?” he said with a wink. “Maybe I’ll flunk science just to see you again.”

You rolled your eyes, but your heart betrayed you with a small flutter. Chris Sturniolo might have been insufferable, but you had to admit—he made life a little more interesting.

Taggies!: @chasekeithh @mackenziezeieglerr @sophiabirlemm @jakewebberr9 @mattscoquette @mattserenity @mattsbrowser @matthewsturnioloo @christophersturnn @chrissturniolodailysluts @chrisfavoritewhore..

Inspos!: @bernardsbendystraws ♡ @muwapsturniolo ☆

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♡~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[usagi-chwan]

Period, the devil's invention (BSDxFem!Reader)

🌸 Characters in this chapter: Kunikida, Chuuya, Ranpo, Sigma and Fyodor.

🌸 Spoils: none! Knowing who the characters are is enough to be able to read their parts.

This chapter had already been started when a reader asked me exactly the same thing: what the BSD characters do with a feminine reader having her period, in this case a rather painful one. As a result, the reader is female!

I wish you an excellent read ~

Kunikida

- With a simple trip to the nearest convenience store, he brings you everything you need, and everything you are going to need at one time or another... You may not be able to understand how he can predict so accurately, but Kunikida has to keep a few mysteries to himself, otherwise his name would not be Kunikida!

- Normally, he is not the last person to pick up what you need and bring it back to you, as Kunikida is a very helpful person (to the people he likes, though...). He will buy anything you ask for straight away, without a second thought, especially when he sees you writhing in pain like that.

- He knows all about menstruation and pain relief, perhaps better than you do.

- A handy little trick with him: he is able to remind you regularly (at just the right moment, incidentally) when it is time to change your tampon or pad. He is like clockwork when it comes to that sort of thing!

~

Chuuya

- Seeing you writhing in pain mortifies him, but unfortunately there is not much he can do about it... At least, that was what he thought at first.

- Because he has found a more than useful use for himself: to hell with the hot water bottle, because HE's the one who has replaced it. He will hold you in his arms, on the sofa or bed, snuggled up close to him, so that you can enjoy his natural warmth and get a little relief.

- He do not hesitate to take some time off work during the first few days of your period, so he can be close by if you need him, even if you assure him that everything will be fine even if he is not there.

- He will run to the nearest store (literally) to buy you anything you need, and to adapt to your cravings at the time (e.g. if you want to eat something in particular), and he will also make frequent trips to the pharmacy to buy you more effective relief.

- But, generally speaking, he does not leave your apartment much when you are having your period or when you are sick. He wants to be close to you in case of need or problem!

~

Ranpo

- He does not understand why you should continue to have those famous periods if they are so annoying for you. After all, you do not need to have them if you do not want a baby, do you....?

- But he still manages to find a use for them: it gives him an excellent excuse to miss a bit of work, or even to go shopping for sweets and chocolate...

- He has read somewhere that menstruating girls like to be taken care of, and what could be better, too, than a little something sweet to soothe them? (And who's to say Ranpo cannot nick a few sweets along the way, after all?).

- Still, he is not unsympathetic to you at moments like these, which are anything but pleasant for you. He lets you rest your head on his lap, while he sits on your shared sofa, gently stroking your hair. He still knows how to be gentle and personable when the situation calls for it, don't you know!

~

Sigma

- Is able to drop whatever he is doing or has to do if you ever need him. Basically, he can come to your rescue no matter how busy he is; your well-being is his priority in life, after all.

- He knows all the things that make you feel better (hot water bottles, etc.), and if you want a cuddle, all you have to do is ask! If you want something special to eat, the casino's cooks will prepare it for you as a top priority, and with the finest ingredients, please!

- In short, you will be treated like a queen, even more so than usual.

~

Fyodor

- Maybe a bit like Ranpo; he cannot really understand how simple period can cause so much pain, and maybe even wonders (without saying it out loud) if you are not exaggerating a bit...?

- But seeing you in so much pain makes him a little more gentle with you, and it is one of the rare moments when you can hug him almost indefinitely, without him saying anything.

- One thing's for sure: Fyodor and cuddling do not go hand in hand! At least under normal circumstances. Well, maybe... Fyodor is such a complicated character after all, and I am not sure he understands himself in all circumstances...

[jewishgirlrevolt]

8x09 Thoughts. I'm done with Eddie Diaz

I tried to write about this episode previously.. and I am going to send a second note to ABC about some of what I will outline here.

So let's talk about the good first. As utterly predictable as the serial killer plot was, it was a WILD ride. JLH is an amazing talent and I am SO looking forward to her and Abigail Spencer playing more off one another next week.

Buck with the dog was so cute. Also excellent choice in dog. Props to K9 casting.

Now let's get to everything else. Sorry this got really long. Under the cut.

TLDR: Eddie Diaz is a jerk. I don't have any desire to root for him anymore, and I don't care what happens to him. Buck has his flaws, but I want to root for him and for BuckTommy to get back together.

Buck helping Eddie find a subletter was not Buck being bad or bratty. I think he was genuinely trying to help Eddie find someone suitable. But he was also dealing with a lot. He's still not over Tommy, and now he's dealing with his best friend leaving. So it's Buck not thinking through and brain to mouth connection short circuited.

Eddie, meanwhile, didn't even tell Buck he had found a serious option until after he had made a down payment. How is Buck not supposed to feel abandoned? If I were moving away, I would let my best friend know the situation long before this.

Ok, so Buck is told to leave, and he notices he doesn't have his keys, or phone, and overhears Eddie saying to a potential tenant that "He doesn't have any ties here." Which is Bullshit for 2 reasons. 1. It shows Eddie doesn't consider the 118 as anything more than coworkers (if they were friends he would have told them his plan earlier on so they could work out and help him while finding a replacement). And 2. TIA PEPA and his cousins LIVE IN LA! Continuity error or not, I don't know. I don't care. This post is already horrifically long.

Now during the fight, Eddie is super mad at Buck and honestly...had he had ONE normal conversation with Buck this all could have been avoided. Buck comes back to apologize after revealing the situation to the team, something Eddie should have done weeks ago. What Eddie does is shit on Buck. And it wasn't necessary. Now! I've had fights with friends, I've been frustrated on occasion with my best friend. But I would never in a million years even THINK to use their insecurities in a fight against them. That's cruel and while Buck didn't handle the situation in the best way, Eddie was way too hard on him. Cause again, Eddie could have resolved this with one conversation. And we know Buck would never be upset with Eddie for choosing Christopher. But I think Eddie knows deep down that he's making another impulsive and stupid decision. Wow Eddie really has one brain cell. And he's clearly projecting that insecurity on Buck. But it's not Buck's job to validate Eddie's half-assed ideas. I think it was @nephilimeq's amazing post that really hammered in the emotional maturity and avoidance Eddie so

What we see is Buck's biggest fear shown, the idea that people tolerate him/care about him as long as he is useful.

Because Buck has done so much for Eddie. He took care of Christopher and was there for both of them at the drop of a hat. And Eddie by comparison.. and I know friendships aren't always 50/50. But it feels like this friendship is like 95% Buck and 5% Eddie.

I think it was @nephilimeq's amazing post that really hammered in my problems with Eddie. It's that he hasn't matured emotionally and faced his emotions and actions. And that's why I am so done with Eddie. And why I fully support Buck getting back together with Tommy.

Now Buck has his flaws, there's stuff he could have handled better this episode and the narrative needs to have him grow, and of course get back together with Tommy, who sees him and loves him, flaws and all. And it is clear that Buck isn't just dealing with Eddie leaving, he's still not over the breakup. And pile both of these things together... he needs a hug. But Eddie was in fact a complete jerk about the whole thing. This episode for me also shows why not only is B*ddie not going canon, even if it did, it would not be a good relationship because I don't think Eddie knows how to have one.

I don't really care if Eddie comes back or not because Eddie's not a character I want to root for anymore. I hope he's able to repair his relationship with his son for Christopher's sake though.

[bueckersstuff]

REMEMBER

Pairing: Paige Bueckers x Reader

Genre: Childhood friends, separation, amnesia, angst, slow burn, smut, romance.

Description: Dead eyes, pale skin, no memories. Returning to Minnesota convinces your father that it might be for the best. The familiarity of everything, he says, might help. But you have no recollection of living a life here, except for the old basketball court just around the block from your home. And somehow, you find yourself walking aimlessly toward it, wasting your remaining time sitting on the rusted metal bench. No one comes here. Yet, you feel like you're being watched.

Then, one sunset, a vehicle abruptly stops in the distance. A woman with blonde hair steps out. Blue eyes, glowing skin... and suddenly, your brain snaps. Memories.

You almost feel happy, hopeful that you can regain your lost memories. But when you look into her eyes, all you see is hatred.

Chapter 1: Snapshots of Memories

"Are you ready, honey?" Steven, your dad, asks for the nth time today. You’re packing up all your things because you're going back to Minnesota, your hometown. "It's for the best," your dad says. And, with your current state, you're in no position to negotiate.

You haven’t looked in a mirror for the past three years, but one glance at your arms tells you that you've become skinny—like, malnourished-skinny. Gone is your rosy complexion, replaced with deathly pale skin. You could pass as a vampire, minus the fangs. Plus, you feel like a shell, void of any memories. The only memories you have are from three months ago—waking up in a hospital bed, with your dad hysterical and shaking from exhaustion, and maybe from the happiness of you finally waking up.

Apparently, you learned that you were involved in a traumatic car accident. Your mom, Emma, was the driver, and you were in the passenger seat. Sadly, she didn’t make it. After hearing that, you kind of want to hit your head for not recalling anything about your own mother. You feel guilty and weirded out that you can’t even feel sad, hurt, or broken when learning about the loss—because you couldn’t even put a face to the name your dad calls his beloved wife.

"Yes, Dad. Are you?"

And now, three months later, you're leaving and moving states.

Minnesota

You arrived at last. It was a cozy home, with your nice room, and you saw things and trinkets a 12-year-old might own. You're 22 now, you think to yourself. That’s what your dad tells you—he showed you your documents. You're a senior college student, majoring in Civil Engineering. Ironic, considering you're supposed to be so smart, and now you're just… meh.

You went down to the living room and saw your dad unpacking other things, so you told him you were going to head out and check the premises. There was this gnawing feeling inside you when you passed by that old, abandoned basketball court. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but it was the only thing that felt familiar.

And then it became a habit. Every day, you walked toward the court, your mind empty, then sat there for a couple of hours until the dark started consuming your vision, and you’d know it was time to go home. Your dad noticed your strange behavior but, oddly, didn’t comment on it—he just smiled.

One morning, while eating breakfast with him, you asked:

"Did I play basketball before?" You felt so drawn to it, but not enough to buy a ball and actually play.

"No, you preferred swimming. You liked to excel in areas where physicality and aggression weren’t present. You liked to draw, you could sing, not sure if you danced though, but definitely swimming. That was your therapy," he said, a faraway look in his eyes.

"So, why was I drawn to that place? It’s the only familiar thing here."

"Oh, honey. I did say you didn’t play, but you loved to watch someone who did."

Your heart stopped upon hearing that. I used to watch someone play basketball in that court? Is that it? Was it special?

"Who, Dad?" Your heart was thumping.

"A friend, honey. But I think she’s not around here anymore," your dad said with a sad smile, followed by a sigh.

"Oh." That was all you could say. What a wasted opportunity to regain my memories.

Days passed, and you slowly adjusted to your new life. You read through your past documents, searching for articles that might be crucial to your development. On your free time, of course, the basketball court became your personal meditation place. But ever since that conversation with your dad, coming here felt like you were being watched. You were certain no one was close enough to actually be watching you, except for the passing vehicles on the block. You thought you were just being paranoid.

Until one sunset, a car abruptly stopped in the distance. You turned your head, thinking there might have been an accident because of how loud the screeching of the tires was. But then, you saw a woman with blonde hair step out—blue eyes, glowing skin—and suddenly, you were holding your head because it hurt. Snapshots of memories flooded your brain, all with the same description of the woman, but with no face.

Once the pain subsided, you finally felt hopeful and happy that someone might hold the key to your memories. But when you came face to face with the woman—eye to eye—all you saw was hatred.

Dad, is she the friend?

[kawhh]

Hi can we talk for a sec okay let’s talk

this is a pretty tame thought compared to everything else you write so sorry in advance

vampire!jack. Right.

he’s in a silly mood. he wanted O+ blood specifically and the bank sent O- and now he’s pissed. throwing the glass of blood at the wall and crossing his arms.

enter you, his delightful, mortal girlfriend who’s about 400 years younger than him, who also hates when jack doesn’t get what he wants.

solution? you introduce him to other ways he can quench his thirst. he’s been around for a while and eating pussy is an ancient art but god you were something else.

you trust him not to bite you because that was the first establishment in your relationship but in the process he sinks his teeth in your inner thigh.

claiming you.

etc etc etc

My love, it never matters how tame it is. I'm not even against trying to dabble more with fluff.

"He's in a silly mood" = he's throwing glasses. I'm cracking up.

Warnings: I can't be trusted to be normal about the AU. You find him slightly scary but apparently not enough to be reluctant about offering yourself up on a platter. He's well behaved until he's not. Restraining you physically, keeping secrets. Not proof-read.

He'd be such a pissy little brat about the blood. He'd find reasons to complain about everything about it. The wrong blood type, the wrong temperature. He heated it up too much, or not enough. Or how it just apparently tastes different sometimes.

He was frustrating and honestly a little scary when he was angry. He'd often sit there in silence, pouting, watching you with this absolutely feral look in his eyes, fully making you feel like prey.

Outside of his anger, he was pretty good about it. You could almost believe he wasn't a vampire. His self control was excellent, he never looked at you with hunger in his eyes. He never used his vampire strength against you, always managing to keep every touch light.

He'd promised to never bite you, to never scare you. You hadn't established many rules for your relationship, wanting to somewhat treat it like an everyday, normal partnership, but there were a few base rules.

The promise to never bite you, the promise to never scare you on purpose. The promise to never lash out in anger towards you and no attempts at hypnotizing you.

They've been set for months and he's never even come close to breaking them. He'd rather die again than hurt a hair on your head. He's careful with every action, not wanting to accidentally break one of them either.

He's barely even sexually touched you. He's not fully sure that he can keep himself in control, doesn't know how much you would tempt him, how he'd resist the urge to speed up just slightly past humanly possible while buried inside you.

You'd never tried to encourage it either, until now. Until you can't shift the pout from his face, watching him get hungrier and hungrier. He can't even control his fangs now, they're peeking out of his mouth, he's running his tongue along them like he's trying to soothe himself.

You know it'll be hours before there's even a chance of him getting replacement blood. They try and deliver everything fast, but there's a limit. Especially if they know they're dealing with hungry vampires. It's often even written into their contract - things can go horribly wrong when they get out of control.

It's not like he could sneak some away from a hospital either. If he wasn't hungry and was more himself, maybe. But when he's struggling for control and hungry? It'd be like an all you can eat buffet.

He's watching you like a hawk as you get closer, you can see the protests forming on his lips. His eyes narrowing, darkening by the second. Widening again slightly as you keep moving towards him, pushing your weight against his shoulders to make him fall more into the couch.

He's confused and he's nervous. You're so close to him, closer than you should be when he's this hungry. He doesn't know what to do with himself when you straddle him. He's scared to open his mouth, to scare you. He's scared to touch you, he doesn't trust himself to control his strength.

The further you scoot up him, the harder he's inhaling. He can smell you. His hands hovering an inch away from your skin. He can almost taste you. You're turned on. He can smell the scent of your arousal almost masking the scent of your blood. It's intoxicating, but also confusing.

Venom's filling his mouth, his fangs working on overdrive, but he's cautious. You've never done anything together. Why are you suddenly... there's no mistaking your intentions. He's cautious but not stupid. You're so aroused, your underwear is almost transparent. He can see the outline of your cunt through them, your arousal slowly leaking out the sides, trailing down your thighs.

He can't resist your advances any more. He can't do much to stop you and you're clearly on a mission. He can taste you in the air, you're helping dampen his hunger. He's yanking you forward the extra few inches, smothering his face against your cunt.

You're soaking his lips as he nuzzles into you, not needing to breathe. Sliding his tongue up your inner thigh, dragging it along the fucking delicious skin between your thigh and pussy. Lapping at you like a cat. He's fucked. Truly fucked. You taste like heaven. You're so wet.

Why the fuck hasn't he done anything with you before? He can clearly... stay in control, right?

He's fine so far. He feels fantastic even. Sure, his brain feels like he's been shocked when he finally lets his mouth drift further to the side, dragging your underwear to the side with his nose, resting his mouth over your soaking wet hole, breathing in deeply. But he's fine. Totally in control.

His fangs ache against you, he's trying so hard to not knick you with them, he can feel them resting against you, almost lining your cunt.

He needs more to fully control himself, the ache still present. The hunger still claws at him. He's hesitantly sliding his tongue inside you, needing more from the source. He can feel his fangs inside of you now, sliding further in with his ever increasing need to be buried inside you. He can't get close enough, can't get enough.

He's fucked the minute he accidentally gets a little too rough, knicking you slightly with one of them, the sudden drop of your blood in his mouth making him panic, but he can't pull back. He's too addicted to your taste. He's in too deep.

Lapping at the little wound, whispering broken apologies that you can't hear into you. Fuck, you taste so good. The mix of your arousal, the taste of your cunt mixed with your blood? He could scream.

He's gripping you tighter. He's breaking almost every rule in the book, but you're just so delicious and he's just so hungry.

You taste so much better than the blood he has delivered. He doesn't know how he'll go back. He can only think about getting more from the source. The wound's already healing from his saliva and venom.

His grip on you pins you down in place, even as you squirm. You're probably complaining about him and the damn rules. He can't bring himself to care, feeling too far gone.

He knows the risks. Knows that biting you with his current intentions and feelings towards you could cause major problems, problems that he should be discussing with you. It's your fault. You're the one who offered your cunt up on a platter.

Gasping for air he doesn't need as he pulls back, his target set. He's striking before you can blink, his fangs digging deep into your inner thigh, his bite sending shocks of pain through you. You're whining, tugging at his hair, trying so hard to get him out of you.

His pulls of your blood are slow, he's dragging it out. His new favourite meal, he doesn't want to rush it. He knows he's being harsh, but you need to understand how badly he needs you.

He's almost edging your skin, lifting up slightly to make a mess, the blood dripping down your thigh before he's licking it up.

He won't explain the bond he's forming. He can't lose this. You can't be aware of the danger. He'll have a hard enough time getting blood from you again after this, you'll be like a startled cat.

[corruptedcaps]

Better the Devil You Know

This is inspired by @rylem33 multi-ending story that can be read here.

Victor had always been the kind of guy who blended into the background. He was scrawny, awkward, and perpetually nervous, with glasses that always seemed to slide down his nose at the worst possible moments.

His best friend, Lily, was the only person who truly understood him. She was just as dorky as he was, obsessed with comic books, bad puns, and obscure indie bands. Victor had been in love with her for years, but he could never muster the courage to tell her. Every time he tried, his voice would crack, or he’d trip over his words, and he’d end up laughing it off like it was some big joke.

But one night, after yet another failed attempt to confess his feelings, Victor sat alone in his dimly lit apartment, staring at his reflection in the mirror. He hated what he saw. Weak. Pathetic. Unworthy. He clenched his fists and muttered to himself, “I’d give anything to be strong. To be confident. To be the kind of guy Lily could actually want.”

That’s when the room grew cold, and the air seemed to hum with an otherworldly energy. A voice, deep and smooth, echoed from the shadows. “Anything, you say?”

Victor spun around, his heart racing. Standing before him was a man, or at least, something that looked like a man. He was impossibly tall, with sharp features, piercing red eyes, and a smirk that could only be described as devilish. His suit was tailored to perfection, and he exuded an sense of power and confidence that made Victor feel even smaller than usual.

“W-who are you?” Victor stammered, taking a step back.

The man chuckled, a low, rumbling sound that sent shivers down Victor’s spine. “Let’s just say I’m your neighbour downstairs. Way downstairs and I’m here to give you exactly what you want. Strength. Confidence. The kind of looks that turn heads. All you have to do is agree to my terms.”

Victor’s mouth went dry. “What terms?”

The devil grinned, revealing teeth that were just a little too sharp. “Your soul, of course. A small price to pay for the life you’ve always dreamed of, don’t you think?”

Victor hesitated. His soul? That sounded… bad. But then he thought of Lily, of how she deserved someone who wasn’t a walking disaster. Someone who could sweep her off her feet. Someone who wasn’t him.

“Deal.” Victor said, his voice trembling but resolute.

The devil’s grin widened. “Excellent.”

The transformation was immediate. Victor felt a surge of power course through his veins, his scrawny frame filling out with muscle, his posture straightening, his jawline sharpening. His glasses disappeared, replaced by perfect vision, and his once-mousy hair became thick and lustrous. He looked in the mirror and barely recognized himself. He was… handsome. Confident. Strong.

But something felt off. There was a coldness in his chest, a void where his heart used to be. He shook it off. This was what he wanted, right? This was what he needed.

Victor decided to find Lily. He knew she’d be at their favorite coffee shop, the one with the mismatched chairs and the barista who always messed up their orders. He stood outside, peering through the window from a nearby alley, and spotted her sitting at their usual table. She was wearing her favorite oversized sweater, her nose buried in a book, her glasses slipping down her face just like his used to.

As he watched her, a strange feeling washed over him. The warmth he usually felt when he saw her was gone. Instead, he felt… disgust. Her dorky clothes, her awkward mannerisms, her frizzy hair, it all seemed so… unappealing. What had he ever seen in her?

“Quite the sight, isn’t she?” a familiar voice purred beside him.

Victor turned to see the devil standing there, his red eyes gleaming with amusement. “I don’t understand.” Victor said, his voice tight. “Why do I feel this way? Lily’s… she’s everything I ever wanted.”

The devil chuckled, a sound that sent a chill down Victor’s spine. “Oh, Victor. You wanted strength, confidence, and beauty. And I gave it to you. But in exchange, I took your soul. And without your soul, you’ve lost any interest in nice girls like Lily.”

Victor’s stomach churned. “But… I did this for her. To be good enough for her.”

The devil smirked. “And now you’re too good for her. Isn’t that ironic? You only want supermodels and beauty queens now. Vapid mean bitches who would bully girls like Lily, isn’t that right?”

Victor stared through the window at Lily, feeling nothing but disgust for her. His eyes drifted to the leggy blonde who was berating the barista for now getting her order right. The devil was right, his desires were different. They were better. And yet he was angered that he had been tricked so easily.

Victor clenched his fists, his jaw tightening. “This isn’t what I wanted.”

The devil laughed, a sound that echoed in the empty alley. “Oh, but it is. You just didn’t know it. But tell you what, I’m feeling generous. I’ll grant you one more wish. You can use it to reverse what you’ve become, to go back to being that weak, dorky man who loved Lily. Or… you can use it to change her. Mold her into the kind of woman you desire now. The choice is yours.”

Victor’s mind raced. Reverse what he’d become? Go back to being the guy who couldn’t even look Lily in the eye? Or change her, twist her into someone who fit his new, soulless desires? Surely there would be a catch to whatever he had chosen. He needed to outsmart the devil. Maybe there was a third option.

“I can make any wish?” Victor asked, his voice low and steady.

The devil’s grin faltered for the first time. “Of course. Anything you desire.”

“And this wish is permanent, no reversals, no changes?” Victor asked in a way that made the devil suddenly wary.

“Yes of course, ironclad.” The devil replied, somehow unsure of what Victor was about to ask.

Victor’s eyes gleamed with a dark, dangerous light. “Then I wish to be you. I wish to have the power, the station and knowledge that you have. I wish I was the devil!”

The devil blinked, his smirk vanishing. “What? No, that’s… you can’t wish for that. That’s not how this works.”

But it was too late. Victor felt a surge of power unlike anything he’d ever experienced. The air around him crackled with energy, and the devil staggered back, his form flickering like a dying flame.

“What… no this isn’t possible! I won’t allow it!” The devil stammered, his voice tinged with panic.

Victor laughed, a deep, menacing sound that echoed through the street. “You said any wish. You said it would be ironclad. Not even you can stop it!”

The devil’s body began to disintegrate, his power flowing into Victor like a river of darkness. “No! This is impossible! You can’t—!”

But his protests were cut short as his form crumbled to dust, his essence absorbed entirely by Victor. The alley fell silent, the only sound the faint hum of power radiating from Victor’s body. He looked down at his hands, now glowing with an otherworldly energy, and let out a cackle that sent shivers through the very fabric of reality.

“Oh, this is going to be fun.” Victor said, his voice dripping with malice. He turned back to the coffee shop, where Lily still sat, oblivious to the chaos that had just unfolded.

The sight of her still disgusted him and she was the last thing he desired but as he looked at the bitchy blonde still arguing with the barista he also felt a cold disdain. He knew what he wanted instead, and he was going to get it.

Victor strode into the coffee shop with a confidence that turned heads. His presence was magnetic, his aura dark and commanding. He spotted Lily sitting in their usual corner, her nose buried in a book, her oversized sweater swallowing her frame. She looked up as he approached, her eyes widening in surprise.

"Victor? Is that you?" She asked, her voice tinged with disbelief.

He smirked, sliding into the seat across from her. "In the flesh. Or something like it."

Lily blinked, adjusting her glasses. "You look… wow. Have you been working out?"

Victor chuckled, a low, menacing sound. "You could say that. But enough about me. Let's talk about you."

Lily frowned, sensing something off in his tone. "What about me?"

Victor leaned back, his eyes scanning the room. He gestured to a group of women at a nearby table, their legs long and toned, their hair perfectly styled, their makeup flawless. "Don't you wish you had legs like those? Or hair like that? Or maybe… lips like hers?" He pointed to another woman, her pouty lips glistening with gloss.

Lily's cheeks flushed with embarrassment and anger. "Victor, what the hell are you talking about?"

He turned his gaze back to her, his eyes gleaming with a dangerous light. "I'm just saying, Lily. You could be so much more. Don't you wish to be the kind of woman who turns heads? The kind of woman who gets whatever she wants?"

Lily crossed her arms, her voice firm. "I like who I am, Victor. I don't need to change for anyone."

Victor's smirk widened. "Oh, but you do. You just don't realize it yet."

Lily stood up, her chair scraping against the floor. "I don't know what's gotten into you, but I don't like it. I'm leaving."

As she turned to go, she stopped in her tracks, her eyes welling up. Turning around she looked Victor in his eyes. "All I ever wished was to be the woman you wanted!"

The words hung in the air, and Lily stood steadfast as if waiting for a response from him, something to show a glimmer of humanity. Instead his eyes glowed a deep, fiery red, and the world around them seemed to freeze. The chatter of the coffee shop faded into silence, the other patrons frozen in place. Lily's breath caught in her throat as she realized something was terribly wrong.

"As you wish." Victor said, his voice echoing with power as he snapped his fingers.

Lily's body began to convulse, her limbs twisting and contorting as an unseen force took hold of her. She gasped, her hands flying to her head as her hair began to change. The frizzy, unkempt locks smoothed and straightened, turning into a cascade of silky, jet-black strands that shimmered with an unnatural sheen.

"Oh God, what's happening to me?" Lily moaned, her voice trembling with a mix of fear and pleasure.

Her lips plumped and darkened, becoming full and pouty, as if kissed by the devil himself. Her skin smoothed and tightened, her cheeks hollowing out to create a more angular, striking appearance. Her breasts swelled, filling out her sweater until it strained against her new curves.

"Victor, please… stop…" She begged, but her voice was weak, her protests half-hearted as a strange warmth spread through her body. “Mmm fuck please DONT stop!”

Her nails elongated, turning into sharp, perfectly manicured claws painted a darker than dark black. Her makeup appeared as if by magic, her eyes lined with dark, smoky shadow, her lashes long and thick.

But the changes weren't just physical. Lily's mind was being twisted, her thoughts clouded by a dark, seductive force. Her once-kind heart began to blacken, her desires shifting from the simple joys of life to a hunger for power, attention, and control.

"Oh… oh my God…" Lily moaned, her body arching as the transformation reached its peak. "This feels… incredible…"

Victor watched with a satisfied smirk, his eyes glowing brighter as Lily's soul was slowly corrupted. "That's it, Lily. Embrace it. Become the bad bitch buried inside."

Lily's moans turned into a low, sultry laugh as the transformation completed. She straightened, her new body radiating cruel confidence. She looked down at herself, running her hands over her curves, a wicked smile spreading across her face.

"Holy shit!" She breathed, her voice now a sultry purr. "I look fucking amazing."

Victor leaned back, his grin widening. "You do. And now, the world is yours for the taking."

Lily's eyes met his, and for a moment, there was a flicker of her old self, a hint of the dorky, kind-hearted woman she used to be. But it was quickly extinguished, replaced by a cold, calculating gaze.

"Fuck yeah, it is," she said, her voice dripping with malice. "Let's see what this new me can do."

Victor laughed, a deep, menacing sound that echoed through the frozen coffee shop. "That's my girl."

Victor's hand snapped out, grabbing Lily by the waist and yanking her against him. Their lips crashed together in a searing, possessive kiss-all teeth and hunger, a collision of two corrupted souls. Lily pulled back after a moment, her new black lips curling into a smirk as she stared into his glowing red eyes.

"About fucking time!" She purred, her voice dripping with venomous desire. Before Victor could react, she shoved him backward onto the coffee shop table, sending frozen cups and saucers shattering to the floor. His shirt tore open under her clawed nails, revealing his chiseled, inhumanly perfect torso.

"Fuck, Lily-" Victor growled, but she cut him off with a sharp laugh, her gaze raking over him.

"Lily is dead baby. Call me Lilith. But enough about me, look at you." She breathed, her fingers trailing down his abs to the waistband of his pants. "All that power... but does that power extend lower?" She undid his belt with a flick of her sharp nails, freeing his thick, veiny, and impossibly large cock. Her breath hitched, a flicker of her old self surfacing in her widened eyes. "Jesus Anti-Christ, Victor. You're fucking monstrous."

But the shock melted into hunger. Lilith dropped to her knees, her new jet-black hair spilling over his thighs as she took him into her mouth with a low, greedy moan. Victor threw his head back, a ragged groan tearing from his throat as her tongue swirled and her lips tightened.

"That's it!" He snarled, tangling his hands in her hair. "Suck your devil's cock like you were made for it."

Lilith hummed in response, the vibration drawing a loud growl from him. Her nails dug into his hips as she took him deeper, her moans muffled but relentless. When he tensed, nearing the edge, she pulled back with a wet pop, her lips glistening.

"Not yet." She whispered, climbing onto the table and straddling him. Her new body-all curves and lethal grace-hovered over his, her skirt riding up. "I want to feel you ruin me."

Victor gripped her hips, his claws pricking her skin. "Then ruin yourself on me!" He commanded.

Lilith sank down onto him with a scream of pleasure, her back arching as he filled her. "Fuck-Victor!"

"That's Lord Victor to you now." He growled, thrusting up into her. The table beneath them splintered, but neither noticed. The air around them began to smolder, flames licking up from the floorboards as their rhythm turned frantic, their moans mingling with the crackle of fire.

"You feel that?" Victor hissed, his hands roaming her skin. "That's hellfire, baby."

Lilith rode him harder, her nails raking his chest as the flames coiled around them. "Burn with me, baby! Burn!"

The fire erupted, engulfing them in a vortex of heat and ash. Their clothes disintegrated, leaving them naked. It didn’t pause their sinful act one moment. If anything it just ignited their passion even more.

“Mmmm fuck my lord! Cum inside me! Make me feel the fires of hell inside me!” Lilith groaned that was more demanding than requesting.

“Yessss! I’ll make you my queen! The queen of darkness! Together we’ll rule hell and then, the world!” Victor cried, thrusting harder.

“I’ll be such a wicked bitch! I’ll be your wicked bitch! Do it baby! Do it now! I can’t wait anymore!” Lilith said moving her hips in a way that made their orgasms inevitable.

They climaxed together, a roar of infernal power shaking the coffee shop to its foundations. The flames siphoned into their bodies, filling each with immense power that exploded out and wrapped each in new clothing.

Lilith's new outfit clung to her like a second skin. A shorter than short black latex dress with crossed straps. Fishnets flowed up her legs and 8 inch studded shoes wrapped around her feet. Her black hair took on the colour of the fire itself, giving her a dangerously red look.

Victor's own attire was a mirror of dark power. A tailored coat, a collar of flames, and a smirk that could damn nations. His suit gave off an otherworldly sheen that was as mesmerizing as it was handsome.

Lilith collapsed against him, her eyes now a burning red like his own. Her lips brushing his ear. "Well that was... hot."

Victor smiled at her weak joke. "You're the Mistress of Evil and yet your jokes haven't improved."

Lilith dug her now longer nails into his chest, drawing blood while smiling manically. "I'm everything you desired me to be, bad puns and all."

Victor looked at her. Her fiery red hair, her dark gorgeous lips, her evil eyes. He was more in love with her now that he had ever been before. "I sold my soul to have you, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

"Well you literally own my soul now so I'm not going anywhere my lord." Lilith said with a wicked smile that Victor knew would make him scorch the earth if she asked.

Standing up off the table, Victor stretched out his hand for his new queen to take which she did without hesitation.

"What now, my love?" She asked, ambition in her eyes.

Victor gripped her by her waist, not gently, and kissed her until her toes curled. "Now," he said, "we rule."

Fire erupted from the floorboards beneath them, wrapping around them, consuming them and then suddenly with a poof, they were gone. Moments later, the frozen coffee shop sprang to life again with it's patrons left to wonder why there was suddenly a mess of coffee cups and napkins on the floor and the smell of sulphur and sex in the air.

THE END

[ethereal-blossom]

Giving BSD boys a blowjob for the first time

ft. dazai, kunikida

warnings: blowjobs (surprise!) MDNI

a/n: kinda wrote these in mind thinking it was also giving them a handjob for the first time so I guess that's double the fun!

Dazai Osamu ♡

Your eyes looked up to find Dazai's face, searching for a sign of approval. In response, Dazai let out a validating, soft moan and closed his eyes as he nodded. "You're doing excellent, belladonna."

It wasn't unexpected. Dazai, sharp and observant as a hawk, had seen the way your eyes lingered over every small change in his facial expressions. While you were dating, both of you had agreed to take things slow. Even small milestones like holding hands was a huge thing for the man that was wrapped in bandages. The slow burn of deepening your relationship into each other's hearts until it left a permanent mark that even time couldn't erase, was wonderful.

But with time grows desire. Dazai teased you to the point of dilated pupils, hitching breaths, and a blush that cups your cheeks. Exactly like planned, the detective thought, smirking behind the mask of crafted innocence. Except, the plan had been for you to beg him to touch you; not that you would beg to make him feel good as your fingers pushed his hips onto the couch. Dazai is highly aware of his intelligence that makes him read people as if they are a children's book, but sometimes, he thinks he doesn't always grab your nature. The type of nature that has you on your knees in front of him, getting high off of his pleasure.

When you wanted to focus your attention back on the twitching cock in your hand, the sight of Dazai's fingers grabbed your attention. You knew Dazai better than any living soul. Although still a mystery novel that hides behind words of deceive and avoidance to keep parts of itself hidden until the time of reveal is there, this mystery novel was slowly showing you its pages that brought you closer to the truth.

One of the mysteries revealed was Dazai's massive self-control over his external reactions. Emotions were another vulnerable aspect of what it meant to be human, and Dazai hid them masterfully. A part of that was because it functioned as a tactic to reach his goals and stay in control, but a part of you wondered if it was because Dazai feared vulnerability more than a bullet. Emotional suffering is torture for the ones with a sensitive heart.

While Dazai's face was decorated in controlled bliss and his moans playing like a soft lullaby, the slender fingers around the sheets were clinging for dear life. You see... could you make another crack in that composed facade?

Your thumb starts drawing circles over Dazai's tip and with that, you witnessed the twitching of both his cock and fingers. A soft groan escaped Dazai's clenched jaw. "Ah, that's my belladonna. You're soo good to me, hm? Working hard for that reward." That controlled tone...

... It wasn't enough.

Dazai could tell something changed. Even though he had his eyes closed in concentration, clinging to the tiny bit of control he had, he noticed how your stroking became irregular. "What's filling your mind that isn't my- argh, shit." Dazai's eyes shot open as he bolted his hips deeper into your mouth, leaving you gagged for a good second.

That face of pure shock and arousal, the one you rarely got to see on your lover, revealed itself to you as you had taken Dazai's tip into your mouth. "Y/N, that's-"

Another lick and Dazai's original sentence was replaced by a moan, and the detective felt like all control slipped between his fingers when you placed your hands around the rest of his cock.

Dazai grabbed your hair, hissing you to go slower because oh God, he was about to cum faster than he ever did in his twenty-two years of living, and God knows he did not want this euphoria to end this soon. Oh, he really wasn't used to feeling this good-

"Belladonna, y/n, please-" Dazai didn't know what he was begging you for. For you to go slower? Faster? What it was, you hummed in approval. That little vibration was all it needed for Dazai to throw his head in his neck. His toes curled as high-pitched whines fell over lips that had become swollen in a miserable attempt to hide his moans.

When you looked up after swallowing, you were met with Dazai's bangs hanging over his eyes. "Osamu, are you okay?" Worried, you push the chocolate colored bangs aside and... oh.

He was so pretty with scarlet painted cheeks. Dazai couldn't even look you in the eyes, giving up after one second of eye-contact before shyly facing another side with his head. "That was... good. For a first attempt."

You chuckled as your hand caresses the cheek that faced your way and with a slightly hoarse voice you respond: "Good. I'll make you even feel better next time."

Dazai's hands twitch one last time before he closes his eyes and mentally picks up every string that he lost along the way. As the detective opens his eyes, you can see the control and seduction in those dark eyes that you love so much.

Dazai leans closer until you feel his breath on your ear. His lips tickle and a shiver runs down your spine as he whispers: "Someone has earned that reward, hasn't she? Let's see how long I can make you last."

Kunikida Doppo ♡

Rubies could not compete with the radiant red glow of Kunikida's face as he realized what you were about to do. The detective should have known you were up to something when he was preparing today's schedule and you had popped up behind him, placing your arms around his waist as you kissed his neck and whispered: "Keep a spot open at 8 PM, love."

Even when the blond had asked for details, your lips stayed sealed. The only hint Kunikida got out of you was "Dazai has made you work over-hours; I want to treat you."

Naively, innocently, Kunikida thought you might have a dinner or massage in mind. Not that he was wrong! It was just a... different type of massage. With your tender fingers wrapped around his cock, Kunikida clenched his jaw to not make a sound, but the moan slipped away as he sighed your name: "Y/n... I, we-"

"Does it feel good, Doppo?" You made sure to rub his tip with your thumb right then, making the detective's cock drop with pre-cum.

"It- yes... yes, it feels good."

Looking up blessed you with the sight of an orderly man turned into a mess under the tip of your fingers. A wave of arousal rushed through your body, seeing the man unravel in front of you. You figured he would be vocal, but oh-

Kunikida was sensitive. The smallest movement had him throwing his head back and trusting his hip as tiny moans calling your name filled the room. Not only were his cheeks the color of fire due to the heat of your touch, but the intimacy of it all left him flustered as well.

You felt a hand rest on your head, lightly gripping a bit of hair. "Y/n... we, you- I have to make you feel good, too."

Oh. "That has to wait."

"But- ah!" The hand around your hair tightened in response to your mouth taking his cock.

Kunikida's thoughts were twirled up in the storm that was you. Your name rolled off his tongue like worshipping prayers as you brought Heaven to earth for him.

The bliss of touching Heaven became too much, and with one closing word, Kunikida fell apart. He arched his back, forgetting to bite his lip to soften the groans that might slip through the walls where his colleagues live. His grip around you tightens, never wanting to let you go, never wanting to let this feeling go. But then Kunikida realizes he's still on earth and lessens his grip on the fear he's hurting you.

The detective looked into your eyes, but they were filled with lust directed at him and God, it felt so sinful that he had to deflect his gaze. Yet, you grabbed his chin and made your boyfriend face you.

"Do you feel better?"

Kunikida stammered, trying to get out a word. "Yes, that was," an embarrassed cough, "excellent." 

Your thumb caressed his lip. "Good."

And then, the world flipped around as Kunikida lay your back on the bed. "I have done a deep-dive research on how to please you when the time was there. Now, let me return the favor." 

[kabr0ztrousers]

OUGH that bugfic was plenty dark, thank you for your excellent work 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

also had another idea! fem!reader somehow finds herself as the stress-relief chew toy for an all male clan of Gnolls 👀 they were cast out by the matriarchs of their previous clans years ago, so they haven’t fucked in ages and are super pent up. she has a bad time at first, coming to terms with the fact that she belongs to them and she’ll never know the taste of freedom again, but eventually they break her, and she wouldn’t leave her new masters for anything in the world. if you have any ideas or alterations in mind, go wild!! i’d love to see what you come up with!

Kabr0z Writes episode 67: Chew Toy

Find the rest of the Kabr0z Writes anthology here!

CWs: Noncon; kidnap; group sex; impregnation; knotting; corruption;

A/N: There's currently 42 requests in the queue, mixed in with the odd miscellaneous ask I'm not sure what to do with 😁

As always, please direct any requests to my ask box and they'll get written when they hit the top of the list

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Cultists raided the caravan. You were about 3 days out of Baldur's Gate headed south along the Sword Coast to Candlekeep when they attacked. Most of the group were captured, awaiting god knows what fate if you don't find a town with an Adventurer's Guild desk and get help. With any luck, the dirt road you're walking will lead to civilization and not some lost city or long-forgotten tomb

Hell, if you did find one of those, there's an even to good chance you'll find a party of adventurers there anyway. It's not like adventuring parties are hard to find, there's normally at least four per tavern.

The road came to an end at a cave. Because of course it did. You sighed and steeled yourself, this is precisely the kind of place you'll go to find a fighter, cleric, mage and/or rogue looking to seek fortune and fame. All you had to do was take those first steps into the scary cave.

The cave smelled of blood, and rotting meat. Not necessarily a bad sign. Nor were the wooden stakes driven into the ground in places, or the gnawed bones lying around. If anything that raised your hopes, an empty cave is just a cave, this is positively bait for a team of idealists hoping to make their name.

You went on, keeping to the shadows as you snuck in. This place defi isn't a goblin cave, there's no cookfires. Not an owlbear, there's too much worked material. A cackling, barking laugh answered your question.

Gnolls. Hyena-people, as big as an orc.

Sure enough, around the corner you saw a couple of gnolls wrestling. As big as the stories said, dressed in rags and furs, flint axes lying forgotten on the floor as they tried to grapple one another into submission.

Ok, some gnolls, but no heroes to beg for help. Not ideal, but at least you hadn't been seen. You stepped backwards, turning for the cave mouth. And stepped straight into a gnoll behind you.

The canine brute grabbed you and barreled forwards, yipping in excitement "Girl-thing! Yes! Yes!"

The others looked over to him, the two who were sparring broke from each other, the larger pawing over to you "Not us. Not replace. Need mother-leader"

The one holding you tore off your skirt "Not mother-leader. Woman. Fertile. Make new."

The big gnoll inspected you, sniffing your hair before grabbing a fistful and pulling it back to push his face into yours. He smelled of rotting meat and matted fur, an undercurrent of thick musk wafting from him "Have to do. Hold girl-thing. I go first."

The big gnoll grabbed your tit, squeezing hard and making you gasp. You tried to struggle and squirm against the grip of the one behind you as a clawed hand rubbed your folds. Wetness spread over your lower lips even as you tried to stop it. You were at odds with your body, praying to the gods these gnolls wouldn't get to have their way with you as your cunt invited him in.

"Girl-thing is ready." The big one put his slimy hand to his nose, sniffing it "Smells good. Bear lots of pups"

A blunt object pressed up against your cunt. You closed your eyes, pretending you were anywhere but here as it slipped in, the gnoll growling with satisfaction as he sank into your loins.

He sped up, grabbing you off the scrawny one, holding you up by your hips, arms under your knees, keeping you open.

He pressed you against a wall, pounding into your soaking cunt, the sound of your pussy being violated almost drowning out your sobs as you felt the leaking cock pushing up inside you.

You cried out as he hilted himself in you, the knot at the base of his cock expanding to trap you together as he stuck his tongue down your throat. His cum started to fill you up, the heat spreading through you as you stayed locked together.

He was still humping, even as he panted and spurted, the thick knot sending waves of pressure through you, bouncing between your cervix and your entrance. You could feel it pressing up against the inner parts of your clit, forcing against your g-spot. Your legs started to shake, your abs clench, and your hands grip the rough fur of the gnoll railing you as you came to your first wailing orgasm.

He howled as your pussy clenched and squeezed, milking him inside you. You didn't want to enjoy it, being fucked by this stinking brute, but you couldn't help but let a moan escape your lips as you humped into him, grinding your hips against his.

The knot popped out of you, the alpha gnoll dropping you as the next stepped up, the scrawny one this time.

He turned you onto your front, lifting your hips as your face ground into the dirt. No need for foreplay this time; your slobbering, open cunt welcomed his cock as he started thrusting. He was a little smaller than the first, but not by much. If he were a human, he'd still be considered amazingly well-endowed.

Your hand moved on its own, rubbing your clit as he fucked you, your hips rolling and waving against him as your mouth opened to allow whines and gasps of animal lust escape you. Again, a knot swelled up inside you as the second load of hyena-man cum pulsed into you. Your toes curled as you rubbed yourself harder, cresting the peak of another orgasm.

You ached. Your pussy was raw and punished, stretched and twitching as the second knot pulled from you and the third one took its place. You didn't even have enough energy now to moan. You just lay there, hindquarters presented an dripping cum as beast after beast took their turn on you. By the time the last male had pulled out, the alpha was ready for a second helping.

Round and around they went, filling you with a mix of potent cum, taking out their frustrations on you. By the time they were done you couldn't move, sprawled drooling and leaking on the cave floor, short breaths and sporadic twitching the only clues to your continued life.

Gnoll cubs come fast, within weeks of daily treatment you were already visibly pregnant. The pack was gentler with you now, you smelled like them and they could see you were carrying their young.

By the time you were halfway along, the former alpha was curled at your seat. Your hand idly scratching behind his ear as you watched your pack spar and bring home the hunt. They still hadn't figured out how to maintain a cookfire, and teaching them which wood was good for burning was tricky, but they just need a strong woman's hand to guide them.

Somewhere in the back of your mind, you know there's a reason you came here... It doesn't matter now.

You've got a pack to lead.

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Sorry this one was late! Shit happened last night and left me in no mood to write, so we're getting another Sunday double-bill.

Also meant I could put my whole pussy into this one, so to speak, so not all bad.

I was gonna have this one ending worse for Fem!Reader, but it felt better to invert the power dynamic at the end (plus I love gnolls as a player race in D&D and their equivalent in PF2e so I wanted to make them a little nicer)